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Internal Pride versus External Pride
By Rose Campbell of Sessions With Spirit
The first and perhaps greatest biblical saying I learned as a child was "Pride goeth before a fall and a haughty heart before destruction". It sort of spooked me out a bit when I was young and thought about it really. Was I being too proud when I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw? Was I too haughty when I won the spelling bee and couldn't help but feel stoked? That verse made me always feel like when good things happened to me that I had best look over my shoulder for the other shoe to drop. However, now as an adult I can say that I have learned what was truly meant by that verse and I no longer fear pride as I once did. There are two divisions of pride. The first I call internal pride. This is having pride in one's self and how how one conducts themselves in the world and how far they have grown over the years. It is about taking stock of your own inventory and being proud that it is adequate and ever growing. It is to do with self-regulation and self-enhancement. It matters not if another person sees the gain; it is about your own reflection staring back at you in the mirror and saying "Way to go!" It is about finding yourself happy that you can now resist being argumentive, creating excess drama where none is warranted, speaking your truth, leaving others better off by their interaction with you, etc... It is internal pride at yourself and since it relies on no other set of eyes seeing what you are,have or done, it is not the kind that will lead you to a fall. You are not out to impress others, you out only to be able to look at yourself in a mirror and smile with a happy heart. The other form of pride is what I call external pride. This is the name I give to it because it can only come about when another has been brought into the mix and THEIR opinion of you is what matters most. It is also that type of pride that hangs on things, places, and green pieces of paper that supposedly shows how worthy you are. A classic example of external pride is the old "keeping up with the Jones". If you didn't worry about what the Jones had or thought, then your pride would not be thrust outward into the external world. This is the form of pride, if taken to extreme, can lead someone to a fall or to their own destruction for it is dependant upon the whims of "other". One day you can be the "cool" kid in a group and the next day you aren't...and therefore your pride in being "cool" just took a nose dive. External forms of pride are a dangerous scaffolding for you to build yourself off of. If the internal pride of self is not the level of pride worked on most then it matters not what the external form of pride is all about for it will in time shift and leave you hanging to the side of the foundation of your life feeling frightened, angered, less than. As a matter of fact, when someone works first and foremost on the internal form of pride, they often find that they need no external forms for validation and thus they do not trip, fall nor end up destroyed. Build first your own foundation and the rest of it will flow into place with greatest of ease. |
What do you see when you look in the mirror?
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